Fit Mom Revolution | Orlando Fitness Coach

In the age of information, knowledge is NOT power.  It’s a paralyzing hindrance.

There are thousands of recipes, meal plans, and workout programs at your fingertips at any time.  Most of them are free.  It feels powerful doesn’t it?  And it IS pretty cool that you can search in Facebook, Pinterest, and the ever-handy Google and have a solution to read about within 10 seconds.

Armed with billions of words on how to eat and exercise, our society is unhealthy.  What’s being done with all of this knowledge?  Nothing.

That doesn’t mean that people aren’t moving more and that our society isn’t slowly working its way back to more natural foods.  It means it’s not happening consistently enough.

Because of the abundance of information, there’s no need to stick with someone long enough to see if it feels right for us.  Hate a plan after 2 days?  On to the next one.

And so it continues.

But there’s another side to the volume of knowledge and information: not knowing where to start.  This is mostly because diet and exercise “experts” often conflict with each other.  Low carb, low fat, high carb, high fat, eat all day, fast all day, count your macros, eat whatever you want.  Only do cardio, never do cardio, lift weights faster, lift weights slower, train 5 days per week, train 2 days per week.  You get the idea.  Comb through what you’ve read recently, and you can easily find two conflicting ideas.

All of this knowledge is not without merit.  Any of these could “work” for someone at any given time.  But how do you know where to start?  And, better yet, how do you know when to stop?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you stop looking for meal plans and workout guides.  Stop.it.right.now.  And, no, I don’t have one to sell you.

All of the knowledge you’ve gained from posting, pinning, and purchasing has become a paralyzing hindrance.

Here are some ways to move past the paralysis of too much knowledge:

• Instead of seeking more knowledge, learn to use your own wisdom.  Wisdom is tuning in to you.  It’s getting in your head, figuring out where things are, and moving forward.  Wisdom is closing the book, web page, email and listening to you.
• Stop overanalyzing.  Truly.  Comparing one plan to another only stalls you. Believe it or not, you already know how to take care of your body.  It’s common sense:  move often and eat well.  There’s no “magical” plan that you’ve missed.  Stop stressing over what plan to follow and be simple in your approach:  move often and eat well.  See how far that can take you.
• Trust yourself.  This one is juicy.  We often say we can’t trust ourselves around food or to follow through on a workout schedule.  But trust starts in your mind first and the thought patterns you’ve created around your own abilities.  At some point, you’ve said you couldn’t trust yourself and you believed it. It doesn’t mean it has to be the status quo for the rest of your life!
• Play with your thoughts.  What if you were to look at food as nourishment (choosing yummy foods that care for your body) instead of punishment (diet foods that suck and taste gross)?  What if you were to look at exercise as a privilege (look at what I can do!) instead of a chore (I have to go to the gym to burn off cake.)?  What if you were to actually believe in your abilities instead of assuming you will fail?
• Aim to practice, not master.  We expect that being able to do something for a certain amount of time means we will master it and never have to think about it again.  With food and exercise, it’s not the case.  Sorry, but we have to eat, and we eat several times a day, often in varying circumstances, with a variety of choices, and in different mental states.  If you aim to master, you’ll be disappointed.  If you aim to practice, you are acknowledging mistakes will happen and you will learn from them.
• Don’t be afraid to fail.  We are so caught up in following the perfect plan perfectly that, when we make an oopsie, our world implodes.  Stop that.  😉  Failure is a path to wisdom (not knowledge!).  It gives you the chance to try again with more insights.  Failure is only permanent if you don’t take anything away from it.
• Use your mind.  It’s more powerful than the actions you take with your body.  Aim to understand why you have certain thoughts and how they are impacting the choices you are making with your actions.

Look, I know I just threw you a curveball.  Our world revolves around the collection of knowledge.  But in my years of experience in working with almost 1,000 women and in how I’ve changed my own life, knowledge is NOT power.  It’s what we do with it and how we use our minds that makes the difference.

I’m coming clean.  Foggy, disconnected, and lost is how I spent a solid 10 months.  This post is not a woe-is-me pity journal.  This is a story of resilience and life-lessons that tie back to weight loss, confidence, and reality.

Around the end of 2015, I gave up on my own revolution.  Yep, the very one I started…this one!  In the fitness world, I’m an albatross.  I don’t have the great sick pack everyone seems to seek.  I don’t teach women how to abuse their bodies with food restriction and rigorous workout plans.  Instead, my voice is one of reason, self-compassion, and nourishment.  It’s not sexy, flashy, or catchy.  My approach is quiet, thoughtful, effective.  Even though I’m fine with being “different,” let’s face it:  the cold, hard truth is that it is exhausting to continue to walk uphill against a stream of in-your-face marketing for quick fixes that deliver repeat failures, especially when you feel like you are marching alone.

To make my own disposition worse, I continued to compare my business “success” to those who operated differently than I did.  I got caught up in likes, shares, follows, and dollars.  Ouch.  I equated “not enough” of all of those metrics with no impact, so I went into hibernation mode.  It was easier for me to stick my head in the sand than it was to look for a solution and face the fact that it was GOOD to be different.  It was scary to think I wasn’t making an impact with the biggest passion of my life: helping women feel at home in their minds, hearts, and bodies.  I quit on myself and the revolution.

So I decided to get a job.  For those of you who are fellow fit pros, this will probably make your skin crawl.  I went to work for others, on their terms, at their speed.  Being an entrepreneur to the core, I justified it because of the nature of the job.  I worked for a publishing company and helped people write and publish their books.  Hey, I love to write and read, I love to help people, and I was helping others make an impact.  Win-win?  For a while.

Over time, the demands of the job slowly zapped my spirit.  As much as I loved who I supported, the culture and company fit about as well as an itchy sweater that’s far too small. But I plodded on.  Because quitting didn’t feel like an option.  Even though I tried my best, I was fired.  I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it say it actually was a shock and a relief.   And it was just what I needed. (It has taken me the better part of 2+ months to actually admit this in a public forum.  Getting fired is a huge embarrassment to me and a jolt of shame.)

I will probably call this period in my life the semi-dark one (pre-job to post-getting-fired).  I teetered on the edge of not-good-enoughness from “the job” and almost let it spill into the rest of my life.  It took fortitude to keep me from assuming that I wasn’t a good enough mom, wife, daughter, friend, and more simply because a job wasn’t a good fit.  I withdrew from relationships that I should have worked to maintain.  Friends who texted me got delayed responses.  Emails went unanswered.  Quality time with people I love continued to shrink.  I stopped blogging, emailing subscribers, and I barely added new podcast episodes.

Getting fired allowed me to take a step back, learn some valuable lessons, and finally pinpoint trends that I’ve had my entire life.

Here are my main “life themes” as I call them:

• Numbers really aren’t my friend!  I’ve spent years of my life focusing on pounds, pants size, calories, barbell size, followers, likes, shares, dollars, authors, hours worked, and more.  Now many of the numbers don’t bug me anymore (especially ones related to my body), but it’s important for me to realize that numbers are a theme for me.  It doesn’t mean to stop counting. It means to be aware.
• Those numbers translate into me proving I’m good enough.  It used to be that if I weighed a certain amount, that would make me good enough.  If I lifted enough, I was good enough.  If I supported enough people I was good enough.  Chasing the good enough trail is freaking exhausting.
• Seeking approval is something I do automatically.  Looking a certain way, coaching a certain way, succeeding a certain way, working a certain way are all things I subconsciously feel bring approval from someone outside of myself.  Some less than others, now that I’ve been practicing for a while.  I seek to the be the “good girl.”  I don’t need to be publicly recognized, but I do need to achieve.

So what the heck does all of this mean?

I’ve found my way back to me.  I’m out of the semi-dark, and I’m ready to get back to this revolution…our revolution.  How did I do it?  So glad you asked!

Back in 2011, I spent a year losing 70 pounds, I created a 15-minute exercise for my mind, and I did it daily.  This is truly the only reason I’ve kept the weight off and how I’ve managed to create many kinds of healthy relationships in my life (including ones with food and exercise).  Silly me forgot that we rarely master these kinds of things, so I stopped practicing.  I swept it under the rug.  Well, the semi-dark period required me to bring it out, dust if off, and get back in the swing of 15 minutes for me every day.  And I was able to find these themes in my life and create steps to deal with them.

What am I doing about these themes?

• remaining aware
• reducing self-judgment
• increasing self-love
• no longer trying to “let it go” but rather “move it aside”
• owning my place in the world, which is helping women
• continuing to be committed to my health and growth

These 15 daily minutes helped me create a Fit Mind, and I’m feeling more aligned with who I am as a person and how I interact with the world.

I’m a mom, wife, daughter, friend, coach, business owner, HUMAN.  I’m sick of the glossy life that’s portrayed by the masses on social media.  I’m over the “I’m only posting pics of my abs for accountability.”  I’ve had quite enough of the silent dogma of the fitness industry.  And I’ve decided that life is lived in reality of NOW and not in the would be, could be, should be.

This revolution is ready to ROAR, baby!  It feels good to be “back,” to feel like myself, and to be connected with other women again.  It feels right to “come clean” that I still have challenges.  Some are very personal, but all are universal.

My goal is to continue to be open and honest with myself and with you.  I aim to shed light on how our mind plays tricks on all of us but that we can change the course and move forward.  I hope to remind you to live in the reality of now, to treasure the present, to hope for the future, and learn from the past.  I hope to make an impact, one woman at a time, no matter how long it takes.

Make the commitment to yourself and get the support of a community.  

Thank you for being you and for being here.  We’re in this together!

Success is sexy and validation is addictive.  We want so desperately to be in a different size jeans, to see a different number on the scale, to receive the praise of others and feel worthy of adoration, to finally “let the thin person out,” that we let our judgment be clouded with what we see in the market place.  There are flashy titles, promises of quick results, and the notion that this program is “the one.”  But, when it is all said and done and we take a long, hard look at what is being forced down our throats, it is disturbing.  As it turns out diets, detoxes, cleanses are pretty words for self-abuse.

I’m not talking about food abuse, though that could probably qualify.  I’m actually talking about self-abuse.  The kind that makes you feel inadequate, produces shame at every turn, and makes you doubt your ability to succeed.  The self-abuse of dieting, cleansing, and detoxing is deeply rooted in our culture.  It sets us up to fail.  It steals our dignity.  It creates dysfunction in every corner of our lives.  It needs to stop.

 The self-abuse cycle:

• desire to lose weight (because we don’t feel _____ enough)
• purchase of program (so we can be successful)
• intense focus on execution (because we crave results)
• lose interest, get distracted, program is too rigid (negative thoughts about self)
• return to prior habits, routines, life
• feelings of failure and doubt
• thoughts of punishment rush in and the cycle begins again

Why is this self-abuse? According to the dictionary, here is the definition:

reproach or blame of oneself; abuse of one’s health

Let’s tackle the first part: blame.  How often do we blame ourselves for not being able to eat a certain way?  We use words like failure, lazy, sucky, pathetic, lame, stupid to describe why we stopped dieting, cleansing, detoxing.  “I must be an idiot if I can’t get results that everyone is!”  or  “I have to try harder next time.”  or  “If I just had enough willpower to do this, I know I could lose the weight.”

We are willing to take ALL the blame for why a program didn’t “work.”  And yet we aren’t willing to take a look at the culture of the health and wellness industry and see if it plays a role.  (Hint:  it does.)

And now let’s look at the second part of the definition: abuse of one’s health.  The definition of abuse alone is to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way.  Hmm.  If restricting food, making negative comments about ourselves, and the punishing ourselves for not making certain choices, changes, “improvements” isn’t abuse than I don’t know what is.

What saddens me the most is that we are so caught up in this cycle of wanting results and doing almost anything to get them that we can’t lift our eyes high enough to see what we are doing to ourselves.  It’s self-abuse.  There’s no other way to describe it.

While we each have personal responsibility to make the best choices we can, to take care of our bodies, and to seek health, the burden also falls on the diet and fitness industry.  After all, the guerrilla marketing is what we are exposed to all day, every day, without fail.  Let’s take a look at that role.

This is how the diet, cleanse, detox industry is setting you up for self-abuse:

1. Restriction:  this is the biggest part of it all.  Take away some foods or entire food groups, even if for a short while, and it creates the relationship of good vs bad.  Words like “always” and “never” set you up for the the expectation that certain foods will never allow you to be healthy while others always will.  It’s a fallacy.  Clean, Paleo, green, cleansing foods aren’t the end all, be all of nutrition.  Trust me.  In fact, for many, these phrases and restrictions further reinforce the culture of not-good-enough-ness.  If you can’t follow this, that, and the other, then you must suck.  There’s no consolation that maybe it’s just not right for your mind, body, and soul.
2. The War:  for years, we’ve heard of the battle of the bulge.  We aim to blast the fat, use grit to get through, follow no pain, no gain, and more.  The imagery used to show body change is one of battles to be fought and the war to be won.  This is problematic for two main reasons:  it implies that it has to be painful, miserable, and hellish and it also implies that there is an end point when you are done.  Changing your body, getting healthy, and simply treating your body with respect looks nothing like misery or torture.  And if there is an end point, then your results have an end point, too.  Taking care of your body never ends.  Why make it painful if it never goes away?
3. The Guilt:  from images that show women pinching their stomachs to memes telling you how many burpees you have to do or miles you have to run to earn your food, the opportunity for guilt is endless.  If you aren’t working toward a goal, then you must be lazy, right?  WRONG.  You are expected to be grossed out by a body that doesn’t grace the cover a magazine.  You are supposed to always be prepping, toting, thinking about food, because, if you don’t, well you are just not trying hard enough.  We have to think about food several times a day because we need food to thrive.  But to have the guilt on top of it all makes it easy to become self-abuse.

There is one common theme amongst the 3 listed above:  they all prey on your own insecurity.  If you can feel inferior, hate yourself just enough, then you, too, can have this self-abuse (diet, detox, cleanse) for three equal payments of $19.99, or whatever the going rate is these days.  Because if you can get results with that plan, you will finally be worthy.

Bullshit.  All of it.

Here’s a little something to consider.  What if you ate in a way that showed your body love instead of hate?  What would that look like?  How would that change the conversation in your mind?  How would that change the guilt?

Here is what it looks like when you eat like you love yourself:

• You willingly choose foods that nourish your body (instead of choosing what fits a plan)
• You can trust yourself around food because there are no restrictions
• Food becomes less important because it doesn’t consume your thoughts, your day, your life
• Shame lessens because there’s nothing to hide about food choices and thoughts anymore

I know what you are thinking.  “Julie, this sounds all fine and good, but I have no idea how to do any of this!  I don’t even know where to start!”

By trade, I’m a fat loss coach.  For that reason, I’m going to tell you the 3 mistakes you are making with exercise.  By personal revolution, I’m a Body Freedom Coach, and that’s why I’m spilling the beans and giving you free workouts in October.

THAT was a mouthful.  Let’s break it down and simplify.

Despite working with hundreds of women since my own transformation, I don’t have a secret series of exercises that will help you lose the weight.  I don’t have a mystical power to motivate you to move your body.  I don’t have any special physiology to share that you haven’t already heard or read elsewhere.

So why bother reading on?  Because you DO need to know the 3 mistakes you’re probably making with exercise right now.  And then I’m going to help you through them.

1.  You feel locked in to big workout programs or long commitments in your workout schedule.  Not good.  Doing more exercise isn’t always good for your mind or your body.  In fact, it can set you back.  When you know you have to spend a large amount of time and/or high frequency at the gym, it’s more difficult to work up the steam to go.  Sure, you may be chomping at the bit when you start a new plan, but how long does it last?  Do you fizzle out?  If so, you aren’t alone.  Or maybe you never even start because the thought feels too daunting.  Yep, not alone in that one either.

Solution:  Consider your current workout plan.  Can you see yourself on this same schedule in 12 months?  Then it’s time to reorganize your plans.  Look for the minimal effective dose when it comes to exercise.  This means exercise as little as possible to get the results you desire.

2.  You’ve lost track of joy in movement.  Exercise discussed in #1 is usually more goal-driven, like fat loss, endurance, strength.  If the time scale is tipped heavily on the side of reaching a goal, there is little time, energy, and/or desire to find ways that are fun, rejuvenating, relaxing, and grounding.

Solution:  Look for ways to move your body that make you smile or help you unwind.  Some examples are walking, stretching, dancing, playing with your kids.  Movement for fun is as important as (and sometimes more so) goal-driven exercise.

3.  Your language is harsh when it comes to exercise.  Following your workout schedule becomes a way to punish yourself for food choices, to burn off excess, to battle the bulge.  There are thousands of phrases around how we view exercise, and most are in the negative light.  Using this mentality sets you to feel like you are going into battle, and when you don’t see the results you want in the timeframe you desire, you feel defeated.  And then it’s back to square one.

Solution:  First of all, when you work on #s 2 and 3, your language naturally softens, because have a more relaxed approach and simply have more time to get your head above water.  Next, be aware of the words you choose when you talk to yourself or others about working out.  Do you sound like you dread it?  Or do you enjoy that you get to move your body?  If exercise sounds like the bad guy, it’s time to find new words to describe it.

When you are overcommitted to inappropriate exercise for your goals, lose track of moving in a way that makes you happy, and continue to use harsh language about getting your sweat on, you give one big thing away:

FREEDOM.

Freedom from rigid rules, hectic schedules, and negative self-talk.

This isn’t your typical post for the new year.  I’m not going to tell you whether or not to create resolutions, which new plan to seek, or how to finally make your goals stick.  Want that advice?  There are at least one million results in a Google search.  Instead, I’m going to share with you some insight that you simply cannot find anywhere else.  I’m making a call for an end:  the end of restriction, punishment, and shame as tools for dieting.

Restriction

Any diet comes with restriction.  Don’t eat this, always eat that, make sure you follow the food rules.  Ugh.  Whether it’s a basic caloric model or something more specific like Paleo, there are always foods that are off-limits.  This is a problem for many reasons.

Eliminating foods or food groups creates havoc in our minds.  We may start out strong at first and be able to stay away from them.  But, over time, we miss them, crave them, wonder why we “can’t” have them.  So we have a taste.  And maybe that turns into a larger serving or a free-for-all.  Restriction of any kind simply doesn’t feel good, so it’s our natural tendency to want to reject it.

Look, there are no foods that are inherently evil, no matter you may hear.  Sugar is not the devil.  Carbs are not kryptonite.  Food is not to be feared; it is to be respected.

What to try instead of restriction:  Look at food as nourishment.  Food gives you energy to live life.  And you already know that some foods are better for your health than others (yes, you really do!).  Opt to choose the foods that make your body happy more often than not.  Restriction doesn’t feel good.  Nourishment does.

Punishment

This tactic ties in easily with restriction.  When we “mess up” or eat the “bad” foods or overindulge, we broke the food rules, and we feel guilty.  Or we’ve spent too long not dieting, so it’s time to punish ourselves to get back on track.  Yuck!

This doesn’t work.  Truly.  Take a look at how often you’ve punished yourself so far for food choices.  Has it helped you make lasting change?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Punishment is a short-term tactic to shock you back into a routine.  But it’s not a solid long-term strategy for a healthy relationship with food or your body.  When punishing yourself for food choices becomes the norm, it loses effectiveness AND creates dysfunction.  “It’s okay to eat this and that, because I’ll just cut my calories way back tomorrow.”  Or…  “I’ll just burn it off at the gym.”

Here’s a bit of tough love:  You are an adult and do not need to be punished for your food choices.

What to try instead of punishment:  Use an overindulgence as a lesson.  What can you learn about the food choices you made?  And how can you adapt for the next time you encounter foods that don’t make your body feel its best?

Shame

This one is a little more “out there,” so bear with me.  Some phrases you may have uttered to yourself over the years may be like this:

“See, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stick to a plan.”

“I will always look this way because I fail at dieting (or exercising).”

“I’ll give this a try, but it will never work.”

“No one will love me unless I change my body.”

These fall under shame.  And we do it to ourselves.  Psychologically, shame is not a meaningful tactic for any kind of change.  It’s been proven through many behavioral studies over the last few years.  (Get familiar with Brene’ Brown if you haven’t already.)  Shame is what keeps us in a dark hole of isolation and it also keeps us in an unhealthy relationship with food and our bodies.

What to try instead of shame:  Find appreciation for your body and your ability to have choice.  We forget that our bodies are pretty amazing.  I’m not suggesting that you can immediately love your body just because I suggest it’s a good thing for you.  Instead, start with appreciation.  What are you amazed that your body can do?  Breathe?  Move?  Hug your kids?  You can’t feel shame for something that you can appreciate.  And remember that you do, in fact, have a choice between how you want to feel and patterns you’ve made in the past.  You can choose to speak about your body differently, you can choose different foods, and you can choose to create a new relationship around nourishment instead of punishment and restriction.

Choose to Nourish

The word, nourish, by definition, is to provide food and other things needed to live, be healthy and to cause something to develop or grow stronger.  Restriction, punishment, and shame don’t fit into that definition.  They can’t.

Stepping away from those three isn’t easy because they are part of our daily habits.  They have ruled our world around food for so long.  But you can do it.  And I can help.

Diets. We’ve ALL been on them at some point in our lives, even if we don’t want to admit it. What’s interesting is there are a ton of different numbers floating around that we often try to abide by and then there are startling numbers that show the darker side to tracking. Let’s dive in to diets by the numbers. Where do you fall?

(If you prefer to listen to this post, I also recorded a podcast episode with this same info. It’s how you can listen on the go! Click play below or keep reading.)

Let’s start with the “mythical” numbers:
1200 calories – This is the mystical number that every woman has tried to conquer. Someone came up with this as the perfect number of calories to have the perfect body. I can’t even find who “created” it, which makes it an even bigger farce. Yet, we see alllll the time that this should be our goal. No. Just…no. Why? Because we are all built differently, have different metabolisms, move more or less than each other, and, for Pete’s sake, have different DNA! Do calories matter? Sure. But to state that all women should aspire to 1200 calories is short-sighted.

2000 calories – Suggested by the government, this is the proper caloric intake for a healthy body. Nope. Missed the mark again, but thanks for playing! See the 1200 calories explanation as to why this doesn’t work.

10,000 steps – What an arbitrary number! While it’s great to have something to work toward, especially if you are rather sedentary, this number produces no magic. For some 15,000 steps are needed for improved health. For others 8,000. The problem with this number is it seems huge, daunting, impossible. For those who get out of breath walking to their car or playing with their kids, 10,000 steps is completely unrealistic. Set your own goals. Meet them. Make new ones.

60 minutes of cardio – Pardon me while I stab my eyes out with a pencil after skimming hundreds of articles stating this is what is needed to really change your body. I guess if you are solely relying on the 1200 or 2000 calorie model, this would make sense. Except is doesn’t. If you aren’t exercising, the notion of doing it for 60 minutes is absurd, which means you probably won’t even try. And if you ARE exercising for that much, several times a week, you will have to keep up that pace to sustain any change you’ve made. Minimal effective dose is far more pleasing to the mind and body. This means using the smallest amount of exercise needed to make the change you seek.

36-24-36 – These have long been considered the ideal measurements…or at least shape…of a woman. THESE CAME FROM A SONG! Need I say more?

The biggest problem I have, collectively, with these types of numbers is that not reaching them means failure in our minds (and often in society). These numbers keep us from trying again or sometimes even at all! I could go on and on about these mythical numbers, including: how many pounds to lose per week, how many grams of carbs, protein, fat, how many days to change a habit. I’ll spare you the minutia.

Let’s move to the devastating ones:
10 years old – The typical age that 80% of girls start dieting (referenced here).

15 days – The average duration of a diet (stated in this article). That gives a lot of opportunity for heartbreak across a year, because the same article states that 35% of women will gain back more than they lost in those 15 days.

61 – The average number of diets a woman will be on in her lifetime (also stated in the above article). This is startling, gut wrenching, and fully explains why we are stuck in a diet cycle.

45 million – The number of Americans who will diet this year (seen here).

$33 billion – The amount of money spent on weight loss products each year (same article as above). That’s products only, not services, folks.

It’s a bit eye-opening, isn’t it? I will admit that, though I had a pretty clear understanding of how we tend to navigate food and diets, I was still surprised at some of the numbers. It does paint a picture of how women go about trying to change their bodies and why it doesn’t work.

So let’s cover just some of the numbers that matter:
hours of sleep
minutes of quality exercise
minutes of downtime
minutes of reading
things you can do
servings of veggies you are eating
ounces of water you are drinking
hugs from your kids
smiles on your face
kisses from your partner
time spent doing nothing at all
hours spent having FUN
Oh, did you think I was going to tell you how many you need for each of those things? Nope. This is your life. There’s no magic number to be found. There’s only the number that feels best for you. Play, enjoy, LOVE your life. The rest will follow.

The midsection. This is probably the most talked about, most examined, most desired, most exploited part of the female body. As someone who works with hundreds of women, I can say, without a doubt, that their midsection is often their most ‘troubled area.’ Today, I’m sharing with you some secrets, so I hope you are ready. Here are three ways to get the midsection you love!

Ignore the Images
Women are inundated daily with images of abs, midsections, waistlines, and more. From commercials to fit pro media pics to photo-shopped images, we are shown what the “public” deems to be the ideal tummy. Who made them the experts? Who gave them the power to say what is beautiful and what is not. WE DID! Ouch. As consumers, we give the supplement companies, fit pros, and diet plans the power to show us what’s acceptable because we buy from them. We share those images of perfect bellies. We envy them. We want them. We would do anything to have a flash-worthy tummy. Am I right? I mean, you have to admit that at least ONCE in your life, you worked really hard simply focusing on your midsection.

I hate to tell you this, but seeing all this images isn’t helping. And thinking to ourselves that those images is what perfection looks like is holding us back. And sharing those images isn’t helping anyone else, either.

Action to take:

What should we do? Ignore them. The fake image of perfection (I say fake because most images are edited and most fitness models do not walk around looking like that 24/7) is rotting our brains, destroying our confidence, and shutting down our self-esteem. The images of women pinching their bellies, waistlines, and hips and making disgusted faces further cement in our brain that looking a certain way is bad, wrong, unacceptable. Skip the posts, articles, and images. Hide, unlike, un-follow whatever shows you images that immediately invoke the notion of wanting to change your body. Do.it.now.

Watch Your Mouth
Nope. This section isn’t about what you put IN your mouth. It’s about what comes OUT of it.

Do you use these words to describe your midsection? muffin top, pooch, pudgy, flabby, jiggly, stretched, destroyed, ugly, fat, frumpy, gross, fupa, love handles, or any other word/phrase that demeans your midsection

If you do, STOP….immediately. Your body can hear you! And the more you use these words to describe your body, the more it will rebel. We spend a lot of time hating on our poor midsections. And it simply isn’t good for anyone.

Think about the words you use to describe your tummy area. Would you say those out loud to your son or daughter? Would you say them to your best friend or partner? Didn’t think so. Then don’t say them about or to yourself either! Hating on your belly won’t change how it looks. It only changes how you perceive it.

Action to take:

It’s okay to not be a huge fan of how your midsection looks, and it’s perfectly fine to not flash it every chance you get. What you do want to do is change your language. If you can’t think of something nice to say, then be quiet. I know we all heard that as kids, and it applies to your tummy, too. If you have stretch marks from having kids (my stomach has tiger stripes…no joke!), appreciate that your body created life. If you find your attention is drawn to your midsection because it’s your least favorite part of your body, ignore it for a while. Thoughts only have power when we give it to them. The most important part of this is that you can love your body and still work on changing it. Talking about yourself positively doesn’t mean you are giving up. It simply means you will be less miserable in the process. And isn’t THAT a win?

Honor Your DNA
I hate to tell you this, BUT….no matter how hard you try, you will not have abs like your favorite model, movie star, athlete, musician, etc. Why? Because you have your own DNA, and your body is made differently. No matter how much you eat for fat loss and train the midsection, it simply won’t look like hers. It will look like YOURS. Instead of lamenting the fact that you will never have her abs, get over it. Yeah, there’s some tough love for you. You can’t change your DNA and she can’t share hers.

Action to take:

Stop coveting other people’s bodies. Seriously. Unless you are coveting a body in the way that brings Channing Tatum to your door, quit wanting other people’s body parts. The more we focus on others, the less time we spend appreciating our own. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it. So shower yourself with appreciation. Find parts of your body that you love! For example, I love that I have my dad’s crooked pinky finger. And I love that I have my mom’s smile. Your DNA makes you who you are, from the inside out. Own that shit! There is no one else like you, so don’t worry about what someone else looks like, because they could never be YOU.

Your assignment for today is to find ONE thing you love about yourself. It doesn’t have to be physical. It can be the way you sing or the way you make people laugh. ANYTHING. Declare it and share it below in the comments section.

Cravings…we ALL get them! I know we often think that our bellies are telling us to dive right on into that bowl of ice cream. But cravings actually come from the head. That may seem crazy, but chemicals in the brain, like dopamine and seratonin, are what regulate our cravings AND our ability to control them.

If you have a hankering for a particular food, stop and think about whether or not you are actually HUNGRY. If you aren’t then, you are staring down a craving. If you are hungry, then aim to munch on foods that support your goals.

This recipe will kill your cravings (even during PMS!).

What you will need:

√ hot water
√ high quality cocoa or cacao powder
√ vanilla cream flavored stevia drops (my favorite, but you can also sweeten with just Truvia, stevia, or half and half)

What you will do:

√ pour hot water over 1-2 teaspoons powder in mug
√ stir out the clumps
√ add a few drops of flavored stevia (or whichever sweetener you prefer)
√ enjoy

• Tip: Get the BEST cocoa or cacao you can find, and organic truly tastes better in this case. Splurge on yourself…it’s chocolate!! My favorite brand is Navitas and it can be purchased online or in the supplement section of WFM. *

You can consume this 1-2x/day to help manage cravings. Be mindful that it can be a stimulant, so some may not want to consume after mid-afternoon (you don’t want to interrupt your sleep, even if it is for chocolate!). If you know that a particular time of day is troublesome for you (like a 2pm slump), aim to consume about 30 minutes before that typical time.

Give it a try and let me know if it zaps your cravings!

And don’t forget to share! Friends don’t let friends get the munchies.

The long-awaiting Love Your BODcast is HERE! I can barely contain my excitement to share with you what we’ve been working on for the last few months. This podcast will be continuing the conversation about what it means to love your body and to take care of it lovingly.

After 15 years of yo-yo dieting, I was finally able to shed my 70 pounds of excess weight. But I still didn’t love my body. I felt betrayed. It no longer resembled the body I remember at that weight in my teen years. Instead, my body reflected the babies it had carried and the lessons I had learned over time. It was hard to understand. It was hard to love my new body.

Thankfully, after years of feeling like I was in a battle with my body, I was able to quiet the war. My goal is to help you feel at home in your body. I want to teach you what it’s like to love where you are right now, not ten pounds from now.

The Love Your BODcast is about continuing the conversation that we shy away from: taking care of and loving ourselves. We are growing a community of women who are all learning this together and supporting each other along the way. Come join us!

Notice: The Podcast ended in 2020. Thank you to all of our listeners.

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